He knew that tonight, I would be struggling with prayer. And so here I sit trying to write down some words about how prayer makes motherhood easier. There's not a ton coming out. Just some rambling words that are a bit more saturated in emotion. I'm just putting it out there, people.
Sometimes, throughout my days, my prayers are often pleas of rescue. In those moments, it's either I'm shouting, "Help me, Lord!" or I'm shouting at my family. When I get the girls down for their naps, we thank God for our blessings and His provision. We pray for Daddy's safety at work. I want to be intentional with these prayers as the Lord is using them to model the way we pray to Amelia and Elsie. Honestly though, most of the time, my prayers are a way for me to realign my heart and mind to His. When I thank Him through prayer, I'm able to see blessings easier. When I pray for my girls to continue growing in a certain way, I see those fruits in their lives more clearly. When I plea for help, I'm able to be more calm. None of this is because of my power, but the power of God working through me.
What I'm struggling with tonight is the fact that my heart needs an adjustment. There's unbelief and doubt. Pray against it!, I tell myself. Pray your heart into belief and knowledge that God will do what He says! It's so easy to just say some words that you say so routinely, like saying grace or begging for help. At the end of the day, how much room am I making in my life so that I can be in community with my Father? Yes it's true that He wants to help me, guide me, bless me. But mostly, He just wants me. And trust me, I need Him to take all of me and work through that in huge ways as I raise these tiny humans.
Do you have specific points in your day where you pray? What does your prayer conversation feel like? Two sided? One sided? Complaining? Thankful? What are some practical ways that we could incorporate more prayer into our daily life?