"I have to do it all.
I can’t do any of it.
But Christ in me can." - Jessi from Naptime Diaries.
My friends ask me often, "What did you do with Amelia today?" They know I keep busy with her. But my answer is always something like, "Oh, I don't even know. We just kinda hung out. I didn't do much." It felt braggy to talk about it all.
So the other day I kept a mental list of all that I did. Everything from the morning diaper change and breakfast, to play time, to bath and bedtime. Not to mention chores and self care. Reality is, I do a lot. And I don't give myself credit. A bigger reality is that I can't do any of it well on my own anyway so Christ should get the credit. And Jessi hit that straight home for me today with her "Giving Up On Good" post.
I'm confident of what the Lord wants me to be doing these days. The things I do daily are good. The fact that I don't recognize all that Christ is doing through me as I lean into Him is ridiculous though. As crazy as life has been lately, I've never felt closer to the Lord. BUT! I'm realizing more and more how much I still discredit the work He's doing right now as I learn about having to do it all. But not being able to. But realizing Christ can. And He's in me. So I can. Craaaazy!
This isn't the best thing I've ever written in my life. I just needed to say all that. I especially needed to reiterate those words written by Jessi and how much they just speak to my mommy soul.
I'm giving up on my attempt at humbleness and embracing the fact that I actually do do it all. Because of Christ. So I'm still humble. :) Or something like that.