|Amelia Ada Laine at 6 hours old|
First snuggle with Mama ♥
I don't want my reflection to be about the negative and my bitterness. It has taken a full year to finally get to this point. But I can see the good in such a challenging birth. For the last few months, I have struggled with questions in my own mind of what I could've done differently to have a more ideal birth, why I had to go through that, etc. a lot of "what if?" I have watched a couple birth documentaries recently and they left me realizing I was just another statistic. A lot of what happened, I think, had to do with me not being louder in my maternal voice, the medical staff not knowing my body like I do, and the medical staff feeling the need to rush what they felt like was a labor process going too slow. When I dwell on this stuff, I get so mad. mad at myself for not being more bold in moments that I didn't feel advocated for. I get mad that I didn't get to do it my way. I get mad about so much.
|Our little family. Finally together.|
But why get mad? What matters is that our daughter surpassed all odds and has lived a vibrant first year! She is healthy, smart, and growing tons! What also matters is that in my next birth, I have the experience to help me be more bold. Next time I will trust my body. It may go better. Or not. God is in control. And He is so faithful. But today, the most important part of this story is a precious girl that rocked our world back on June 4, 2010 when we found out this a tiny human was being knit together in my womb. Nine months later, she was here [even if it was a rough entry into the world]. The two of us became 3. A family.
|Our lovely, content kiddo.|
Today, we celebrate her. Our one year old daughter. Mama and Dada love you, Monkey. ♥